Thirteen medevial pick up lines

By | Thursday, Jan 25, 2007

1. If I had been your horse, I would have wanted that you sat on me without a saddle.

2. The Magician: You know, it’s not only my magic wand that is pointed…

3. You know, that chastity belt would fit perfectly well on my bedroom floor.

4. Don’t believe the rumors you have heard about me… The bubonic plague didn’t hit my most vital body parts.

5. I lost one of my legs in battle. Guess what I’m walking on?!

6. Yes, beautiful damozel, I’m indeed a magician. Do you want to see your clothes disappear?

7. By rights I’m a nice prince that has been bewitched by a mean witch. Tell me, do you like frog sex?

8. Hmm, it seems like I have lost my sex slave. Can I borrow you for a while?

9. Your shelter or mine?

10. My dear lady, you know very well that it isn’t the size of the magic wand that counts, but how magical it is.

11. Your eyes are dark as a moat at midnight. Lower your drawbridge and let me in.

12. What does a pretty maiden doing in a dirty dungeon like this?

13. You should be glad that I’m not a viking, because then I would already have devestated and plundered you at this time.


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Author: Lifecruiser

Insider tips how to travel more, cheaper & better by Top 100 Travel Bloggers. True & reliable travel tips from budget to luxury destinations. Focus on travel in Europe, with special interests: Golf & Spa Resorts. Friendly. Interested. Curious. Helpful. Humorous. Champagne-lovers. Giggly. Glued to the camera – and each other.

24 thoughts on “Thirteen medevial pick up lines

  1. Scouser

    :razz: Love it, cool T13. My T13 can be found here

    Lifecruiser: I’m glad you enjoyed it Scouser :-)

  2. Gattina

    I am convinced that you have a viking ancestor ! Not because you are plundering my blog, but because you like to talk about them ! Does Mr. Lifecruiser looks like a Viking ? Tall, blond with a metal hat and horns ?

    Lifecruiser: …and it takes one to know one, or what is it they use to say…? *lol*

    Good thing you said blond and tall, otherwise I might have thought that you ment he was the devil ;-)

  3. Sonny

    This was funny. I love all medieval stuff. And I like pick up lines. So very good choice! Thanks for sharing!

    My list is up too!

    Happy TT,
    Sweet like Kitty.
    I will exercise for comments!!

    Lifecruiser: Thanks sonny. We love al medevial things too. They are sooo cool.

  4. Irish Church Lady

    LOL good ones. I feel all hot now. Note to self: must watch medieval period movie on weekend. Oops, maybe it’s the flames.

    Lifecruiser: Yes, aren’t we on fire? *lol*

  5. that frolicsome kid

    HAHAHAHA! They are (or were, since it’s from the medieval times) really funny! I like the bubonic plague joke the most! :grin:

    Lifecruiser: Yes, that’s a good one. I can’t even decide which one I like the most! Or if any of them would have worked on me! *lol*

  6. Mice and Moonbeams

    Your blog cracks me up!! I love it!

    Thank you for stopping by to visit mine yesterday and to welcome me to TT (or TiT, rather!) :mrgreen:

    Lifecruiser: Thanks Mice and Moonbeams. I think… *lol* I’m so glad that I can amuse more people than myself :-)

  7. carmen

    Mwah-ha-ha! Funny! And i think matches your new firey design. :)

    Lifecruiser: Thanks Carmen, awfully nice of you to say that :-)

  8. Maribeth

    OMG I am on the floor laughing so hard! You are too much!

    Lifecruiser: So you have that habit too, to lay on the floor in laugh cramps? *lol* Too much? Yes, sometimes even for myself… *lol*

  9. colleen

    It’s hot over here all around! My 13 has a tad of nudity.

    Lifecruiser: It is? Wow, I’ll have to rush around to see… *lol*

  10. Sanni

    :shock: Bwahahahaaaa :mrgreen:
    #5, #8 and #9 are killing me!

    Lifecruiser: Yes, and even more: I can’t figure out IF any of them would actually work…. *lol*

  11. Amy Jo

    ROFLOL!!! That is so funny :razz:

    Lifecruiser: Thanks Amy Jo, I’m glad that you had a fun time here. Welcome back at any time :-)

  12. The Shrone

    I love the topic for your TT this week! They are very witty! :mrgreen:

    Lifecruiser: Yes, aren’t they? Much more than the modern ones… *lol*

  13. Becky D

    Very cool list. Very unique and funny.

    Lifecruiser: Thanks Becky :-) I’m glad you liked it!

  14. Rebecca G.

    You seriously owe me a new computer keyboard. I just sprayed coffee all over mine. Out my nose, no less.

    Lifecruiser: Oooops…. Don’t you know: always wear a protective mask when you’re blogging! *LMAO*

  15. claudie

    Thanks for your comment on my space! Paris is a magic place for lovers!
    And I’m sure that your medieval magician would like to be there and be in action!

    Lifecruiser: Ha ha ha – me too Claudie! I bet they were very active in that period too :-)

  16. joe blogs

    I’m so tired you’ve been jousting through my dreams all night.

    Lifecruiser: Ooops. I know I should have practised more on that voodoo course I took before I started on my own… *LMAO*

  17. Chelle Y.

    That was so cute and creative! :)

    Lifecruiser: See, they were creative even in that period ;-)

  18. Marcia

    wonder if these lines have ever been used?

    Lifecruiser: Of course they’ve been used! This is the most ancient habits we’re talking about here ;-)

  19. Dot

    Lifecruiser, Hope it is ok not to comment on the post, but just to leave Prayers and love for you Mother. I often think of her and wonder how she is doing. As you know, I care a lot for she is such a wonderful person. Give her a Hug for me.
    Thanks. Hope all is well for you and your Husband.

    Lifecruiser: Certainly Dot! You’re always welcome no matter what :-) Thank you so much for your kind words. I’ll come by and inform you about my Mom especially in the morning when I’m much more wake, it’s too late in the night over here right now….

  20. Sandy

    I have been married all of these years and never had to use any thing like you mentioned above…Just good old being in love at our house!! Thanks for stopping by today..Sandy

    Lifecruiser: Yes, some of us are really the lucky ones huh? *lol*

  21. Raggedy

    What a fun list!
    My TT is posted
    Have a wonderful Thursday!

    Lifecruiser: Thanks Raggedy. I’m glad to be able to amuse you a bit :-)

  22. Debbie

    Well you certainly were on a roll with this one! Too funny! I particularly like #11!

    Lifecruiser: I have a very hard time to decide which is my own favorite and certainly not if any of them would actually work…. *LMAO*

  23. Hootin' Anni

    Love the drawbridge one. Reminiscent of being chained and the chain finally dropped–being free again— and what should appear? But the knight in shining armour! ENTER oh wise one….let’s cast spells together in the glow of the moonlight under the tower….then a beheading and the damsel calls out to the guard….”drop that drawbridge Seymour”….I wanna SEE MORE.

    Lifecruiser: *whistles* Hoot! I’m impressed. I wanna SEE MORE of that Hootin’ Anni !!!!

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