Did I get there still alive…?

Let’s start from the beginning of yesterday. Horrible night gives horrible morning. If I weren’t so bloody stubborn I wouldn’t have left my home in the morning!

It took me a lot of effort and pain to get ready. I was late again, but it was impossible in any other way. My body would simply not move until then. What do you do when you can’t move? Hey, maybe I could rent a wheelchair somewhere

A normal person had never left home, but I’m not normal… I was not sure if I would make it to the shitty place and I almost gave up. Then I thought: No, if they’re forcing me to go through this, they are gonna see how my reality really is!

I did warn Mr L though, that I might phone him if I got stuck on the way somewhere. (You never know with my back, suddenly it can be totally blocked and I can’t move without screaming).

So I walked. Very carefully which means real slow. In fact a very funny walk, sort of partly bend, tiny steps with a small limp. I’m sure I could have had John Cleese as the ministry of Silly Walks, to acknowledge my silly walk… *LMAO*

…and the bus didn’t crash into any car today, so I did arrived alive there - no car wreck - but a human wreck instead!

I had to lay down immediately, because I even got muscle cramps in the back besides the back pain. This time not at the floor, because there was no way that I could get down to the floor… They don’t have a normal rest room with a bunk that I could use, so I had to use one of the meeting rooms that had a couch.

This couch was one of the worst kind for back problems, it was so low so I almost didn’t get down on it, you should have seen me try to move around, probably looking like an elephant roll, even I was laughing despite the pain. It was hard and with gables, so I couldn’t even put up my legs, which almost made it even worse.

…and when I had get down… do you think I could get up…?

I had to give up and call for Mr L to come and help me up from there and get me home. I don’t trust other people to help me with my back, if they move me too fast or wrong in any way, I might get nerves squeezed and I’ll scream. (Anyone would!)

So another day with no “work” done, but still it made me covered in sweat!

I wanted them to see me in this condition, so they don’t think that I was laying at home snoring in my bed and just called in sick…

This has made my back much worse. I have really big problems to move now and have been laying most of the time after that. It’s on the edge all the time to getting real bad. I’m not taking any more right now, if I don’t stop at this point I might get so bad that I can’t get up from bed for weeks and I don’t want to be there again!!! It’s my life and I will not allow that.

That was yesterday, today and Friday I’m staying at home curing my poor old body.

And why on earth am I writing about this sad subject?

I guess it is to get more personal and show you some of my reality, but even to show you how things can be for people with back problems.